A friend of mine posted an article on a social media website with the following message:
Pay attention Muslims!
“And how was I supposed to meet a Muslim girl, anyway? We were always taught that girls were haram, the classrooms were always in separate rooms, if a girl was Muslim we were taught to avoid her and not look or talk to her – so yeah, I meet wonderful non-Muslim women and now my girlfriend is Christian.”
Below are a string of comments exchanged between myself, my friend who posted the article and two women whom I have never met. Just as a preface, this was as much frustrating as it was an enjoyable exchange. You will notice that the themes in my comments range from discouraging judgment of others, an immense gratitude to God for His guidance, and my personal opinion on where that guidance originates.
ME: Incredible. Hopefully a lesson and reason to change for people who terrify children and rob them of a true faith in a Loving and Merciful God. I’ve experienced this but was lucky enough to be brought back to Islam, Alhumdulillah!
Woman #1: Very thought provoking; but I don’t buy that this was an emotionless decision; even if his demeanor indicated otherwise. If it were “reason,” someone as self aware as this young man would have had more compelling arguments….
My Friend (who posted this article): “I didn’t need Muslim classes one day a week, I needed Muslim friends and socializing during days of the week and weekends.” — i think masajid need to pay strong attention to this. facilitate more social & community programs. more relationship building less lecturing.
ME: It’s actually pretty horrifying how emotionless it is, I wish this on no one! It is utter darkness and you feel so numb that it doesn’t even matter. May Allah keep all of us close to Him here and in the hereafter. Ameen.
Woman #1: I can’t agree more, [My Friend]. How can we facilitate this insha’Allah?
Woman #2: I agree with [Woman #1]. This was not emotionless. He may have had bad teachers of Islam, but why did he not research it on his own once he reached adulthood. I went through a spiritual awakening at age 16 (while living in France) and I researched all kinds of religions, then almost as an afterthought, I decided to research Islam, which my parents had taught me almost nothing about. I was greatly surprised by how much sense it made that I could not help but to become a practicing Muslim. This guy simply chose the easy way out. He chickened out. And I should add that I did not have any practicing Muslim friends when I committed myself to Islam.
ME: It’s exactly that kind of arrogant thinking that is the root of the problem the article is trying to highlight. God invites whom He wills to Islam and deafens, blinds and chains the hearts of those He doesn’t invite. Count your blessings and leave others be. And it is so sad that you are ignoring the injustice against Islam that is being described in the article that dare I say you might be on your way away from Islam. God is the only true Judge, Allhumdulillah. No amount of research can open your heart to Islam unless it is God’s will. I sense a shameless amount of pride in you even if it is your boasting about finding Islam on your own. Allah knows best.
Woman #2: I never claimed to find Islam on my own. It was Allah’s guidance as you so rightly pointed out . I simply meant to imply that you get to a stage in your life where you have to start looking for answers and not accept what has been handed to you. And by the way, Allah does not guide the arrogant. You have to be humble in order to be guided. Besides, attributing faults to people on [social websites] is not of the Adab of Islam. Peace and blessings to you, sister.
ME: Yes exactly attributing faults to people on [social websites] like saying that the guy chickened out is not nice or Islamic. Just because you and I were lucky enough to be guided, we have no place in expecting that from others. I just do not understand why people want to focus on this guy’s decision when the reasons for his decisions should be the focus and present an opportunity to improve upon something to prevent such a transgression. In any case, peace and blessings to you as well.
Woman #2: When I said “people” I meant persons whose names and places of residence are known. As to focusing on the reasons behind his decision, do you honestly think that by him telling the Creator on Judgement Day:” my parents did a poor job of educating me about Islam” is going to save him? What about the brain that Allah gave him? Why did he not use that. Yes, what happened to him is most unfortunate, but it isn’t enough to exonerate him. And I absolutely agree that, as a community, we have to do a much better job of educating our youths. However, in the end, each person is ultimately responsible for his or her choices.
ME: Alright sister, I think I will just agree to disagree with the continuous admonishment and judgement of this young man who still has got a chance to die as a Muslim, iA. For all we know the conversation in the article might have triggered a God-sent introspection that will guide him back the right path. As far as using the brain goes, in my opinion, I find to be filled with betrayal as it is often reasoned out of the right choice (courtesy of the Shaitan who has taken a vow to do so), the heart though, that’s my direct link to God and His guidance. When the heart is unchained and softened by God’s will, the true religion and faith is so apparent that you just don’t see any other way (something you described in your personal journey).
Woman #1: [Woman #2]-mashAllah I never knew this about you!! Thank you for sharing your story! I understand completely what you mean. Allah often stresses the importance of seeking knowledge and references “men of understanding” in the Quran. How can we deny our responsibility to also use reason and logic? Alhamdulillah Islam is a sensible religion and it is also this sensibility that attracts people to Islam. May we all be guided inshAallah!
ME: I couldn’t agree more with your characterization of Islam as a sensible religion, but my emphasis on the heart is to facilitate the point that that is where I found the connection to Allah. Throughout the Quran, the emphasis is on the heart so that importance has been my take away. I have not read that God will look to our mind to judge but rather what is in our hearts. I’m a lawyer so I understand the importance and significant utility of reason and logic as it is my meal ticket but to strengthen my faith I rely on my heart. This has been a great conversation, thank you ladies. And, to your point about the references to “men of understanding” you have to become one of them first, and to get there, I believe you need an open and receptive heart first and foremost.
Thou shall not judge.
“Then it will be for (only) Us to call them to account.” [Quran 88:26]
Stay blessed!
Peace.
things that move me spiritually and physically 