I watched the Green Mile this weekend. I watched it alone. It was risky. I should have known better than to watch it at all.

I accept that I have a sensitivity to violence against children, specifically sexual violence. When I hear, read or see these types of acts occurring, much like most people I feel repulsed and sickened to my stomach. But, it also triggers several flashbacks stored in my memory bank of bad men doing bad things to little girls.

These memories have a tendency to rise to my conscious level from time to time. I always feel so scared and anxious. I feel so threatened and defenseless. This is followed by a heated anger sending shocks through out my body. I feel myself grinding away at my teeth as a lump forms in my throat. My face is usually burning at this point and tears flood out. I feel devastated.

And, then I think about how far I’ve come in my life, of all the blessings and the overwhelming amount of wonderful memories. I take a deep breath and suddenly a picture of my husband’s smiling face appears in my mind. He’s a good man, a great man. And, just like that the images of the bad men are shattered. The good men outnumber the bad men, hopefully in numbers, but most importantly in the amount of impact. A positive impact that invokes true happiness and a life full of faith. Alhumdulillah.

To all the bad men, you have a sickness not just in your mind, but in your heart. You are selfish, primitive and a slave to your low desires. I feel sorry for you in this life and fear for you in the next life. But, first, I forgive you. And, I ask for God’s protection for all the little girls to keep them safe from your (and other men like you) senseless acts, iA.